do you sing or dance for your kids?

Last Saturday, March 15, we had our grade seven graduation party held at Sanville. Parents get to mingle with familiar faces and marvel at how their little girls have grown. Being in a small school, parents and children know well most of each other. Where can you find a school that call everybody 'titos' and 'titas'? Here in Paref schools, we are truly a family.

We had a simple dinner and program that is truly an affair to remember. The program was hosted by tito Mark and tita Giselle, while our hosts tito Nonoy and tita Rose were also gracious to have raffled off two paintings from their 'Walang Ingay 'art gallery. Watch out also for this young, talented musicians from Bulacan who rendered popular songs throughout the evening. They call themselves the Blue Cheese band! Some parents even sang onstage with the band that solicited wild applauses and cheers from everybody.

Highlights also of the evening were secret performances by Dads and Moms offered to their daughters for the occasion. Parents went out of their way to practice a few days before the event with some even having to practice only on that day. Kudos to everybody who made their daughters proud and happy that magical night in Mystic Rose drive.

Here's the footage of those performances:

Dads' Presentation: http://youtube.com/watch?v=rGEsipD3bwY

Moms' Presentation: http://youtube.com/watch?v=aqFFJT4W47c

would you consider a small school?

It is now summer and most of us parents are thinking of what school to send our young kids or perhaps transfer them. Of course there's the popular Ateneo, LaSalle, Poveda, Assumption, and others, just to name a few.

But would you consider a school where class population is only 25 to 32 kids per class?
How about a school who aside from the usual teaching of academics also give importance to the personal formation of each child?

Here, we know our kids' friends and parents pretty much. Some families have grown to be close to one another that they even go out on dinners or outings together. Parents band together in support of school activities while kids treat parents as their very own 'titos' and 'titas'. These schools are not just a learning place but also a home to all of us.

These are but some of the reasons why our daughters go to Rosehill in Antipolo and our son to Northfield. At the start, we knew Antipolo is far away from where we live in Quezon City but after seven years now, we feel happy and blessed with the schools that we have.

crying over delicious crepes and sundaes

As much as possible, we try to learn more about our children through family meetings. This would include follow up on each one's responsibility, opinion and other matters.

This time around, Suzette wanted to talk outside our home because she was not feeling too good after talking with our eldest daughter the other day regarding relationships. So off we went along Tomas Morato looking for a place where it's convenient to talk. At first people suggested coffee shops but I objected because Jiego and Ayi are not yet allowed to have coffee.

We end up choosing Cafe Breton so that the little ones can have some dessert. Isay and Jiego had huge ice cream sundaes, while Dang and Ayi chose mouth-watering dessert crepes. 'Zet and I had coffee, hot and cold in that order plus a little of this sundae and that crepe.

Mommy then brought out a short reading that consisted of a list of different emotions and wishes of a child and asked our kids to write on a sheet of paper what struck them the most and why. Yes, 'Zet had paper and pens with her.

At first the place had not so many customers and so the children were also cozy choosing and writing their notes from the list. Then one by one we talked to them and ask them while trying to understand why they chose that particular line from the list. First came Jiego who was in tears when we were asking him why he thinks we should give him more freedom. He couldn't answer us. And so my wife tried to pry it out by telling him the things and chores that he does and ask if this was his concern. After some sorting, we understood what he meant. He does not want to be nagged on his chores but since he does not remember to do them everyday, he instead requests for a short list on what needs to be done. The list he intends to leave it in a place in his room where he can see if often thus sparing him from Mom's wrath.

Children have many emotions inside them but what they say does not necessarily describe how they feel. It's hard enough to try to have good communication with them but understanding them is of a different level. I guess no matter how many parenting courses we attend and facilitate at, it's really hard to raise our children, what with each one having different personalities and needs. It is good though that we have learned some tools in dealing with them in actuality.

Take for example Dang, our second daughter. She was also in tears when she said that we are not giving much importance to her. My wife almost fell off her chair because I agree with her when she explained to her that we are not amiss in asking her what she needs and that we really try to accommodate their wants and needs. And so after some discussions we realize that when she is saying "no, it's okay mommy", it's really the other way around. For a while we thought that every thing's comfortable with her but now we realize that we should double check on her if we really understood her right.

By this time, the place is full already and many guests are glancing at our table every now and then because from the happy festive mood that we were from the start, our faces have turned up with red eyes and noses, tears rolling down and voices somewhat either in the upper tone or hushed mode. I'm glad that the joy of eating the wonderful desserts is keeping us from ever going more emotional than we already are.

Isay on the other hand wants us out of the house more often. She believes we should be out on dates or so because she feels affected whenever Dad and Mom have some disagreements. Perhaps she also probably suspects that we are falling out of love. Hmmmm?! Just after our talk about the other day this is what she chose over the other things on the list? Is this how they look at us now? I never realized that it made them feel uncomfortable and or troubled. And so it was a chance for us to explain more to her the intricacies of being in a relationship. And we assured them all that we are still very much in love. While we were taken aback by her letter, at least it too helped us calm down a bit as Suzette and I were also beginning to having some disagreements while handling our first two children that opened up that night.

By the time Ayi was ready, everybody was in a happy mood again. Ayi's simple wants and innocence made us cheerful once more. We wrapped up with resolutions and hope for the best that we can all stand by them.

After I asked for our bill, I can't help notice the face of our waiter. I am not sure if it's a sigh of relief that he's happy we are going or he's happy that all ended well with us. But sure enough after writing this blog about a week after it happened, we remained aware and understanding of what transpired that night.

the water horse

Last night, my wife and I together with Ayi went to visit Jay Tan's funeral. Jay is teacher Evelyn's eldest son who got a kidney transplant last December. He got an infection and so his body was not able to cope with it. He is known as the Round Mound of Sound or DJ Bounce to Magic 89.9 listeners. But to his friends and love ones, he is also known as Budoy.
Jay would sometimes be a host or a teacher to TCW's school activities that is why he is also well known among the active parents of the school.

Along the way, Suzette tells me about the blogs that Jay made which were compiled by his friends. She was there early that morning accompanying the preschool kids of TCW and told me how she was also crying at the chapel.

Funny but some few days ago I was thinking what to blog about next. For a while I thought I don't have anything meaningful to write about. Then I read Jay's blogs. He really has a talent for writing and I admire its contents. I get to know more about him while reading it and perhaps that's one reason why I'm here blogging again.

I enjoyed the mass service that evening, with the Vietnamese priest friend of the family from Sto Domingo church and a commentator/singer whom I believe is a professional who does this for a living. He has his own PA system with a pull trolley and an ipod nano attached to it that plays his mass service songs. He sings the responsorial psalm by memory and is very good and instrumental in setting the mood of the service. I can't help but notice the way he handled his part as it was very professional indeed. It's different from my first impression when at first I thought that he was just one of those usual party hosts. My wife even asked me to look for this person should she go away before me.

After the service, we left for SM Centerpoint. Ayi is excited that we will be able to finally have that movie date with her. We have our annual Kris Kringle game that our family play and the kids get to win prizes such as coffee date, movie date, etc. Ayi won that movie date but after the service, we were conditioning Ayi that we might have to postpone it because there is maybe no GP movie available and that it was also kind of getting late. I, too was sleepy from coming home late since Tuesday from many activities in our CFC community.
You can almost see the disappointment in her face.

At first, we saw some local films and action film posters and so we told her that they are not suitable for young kids. But at the end of the movie hallway, cinema 9 was showing the Water Horse. The poster looks cute enough for children so we convinced her to try this one. The last full show was set to start also at 9:30pm and my watch indicates that is is already 20 minutes past 9.

And so we entered the movie house just in time and noticed how only a handful was there to watch it. Our daughter seems very excited now from her previous noticeably more quiet stance. The film is about the legendary lochness monster and a boy who became friends with it. Ayi was kind of scared at the start but later becomes more comfortable as the story progresses. We saw the transformation of the 'creature' from an egg, to a baby to a full grown giant.

Somehow the film reminded me of the blogs that I read from Jay. Even though we see him in many of our kids activities, I don't really know him except from some impression that I have of him perhaps. Reading his writings allow me to know some dear part of him, his likes, his wishes and his aspirations. Much like the mysterious water horse creature whom the characters in the movie learned to understand and admire.

Oh, I would like to mention as an ender that we all enjoyed the movie, most especially Ayi who bragged about it for days to her siblings.